(preface: drunk) Pretty sure life was made for dying. Thats kinda sad I guess, but we're all going there. When you leave this world, whether you're good or evil, the one thing you can count on is death. And taxes, but lets face it, we dont all pay those so even that's out. So lets talk about this thing. The big elephant in the room, the Grim Reaper, and the thing you're invetiably going to come face to face with in battle, and lose to. Whether you're a good person, a catholic, a christian, a jew or an atheist, you're going to die and I can almost guarantee you whatever you think happens when you die, is wrong. I mean the spiritually or scientifically.Personally I ascribe to the belief when you die, you just... stop.The program ends. The colorful catastrophe that is life just ceases. I've done drugs, I know how troubling an idea this is. Consciousness is a beautfil thing, and in the cosmic scheme of things, not to be overlooked, but it's just the program we live. It is spectacular because our survival is predicated on the belief that experiences should be spectcular. Milleneae of evolution has taught us to seek and enjoy the things which contribute to our own survival and more so, the propagation of our own species.The fact that we've invented the word "divine" doesn't make it any less of a mechanical process. So what's my point? Like any drug experience... supernatural and evanescent, it comes to an end. COming to terms with that is never easy, but once you accept it, there is a forced reassessment of reality. You end with a sour taste in your mouth or you grin and go to sleep. So why are we so opposed to the the ending of life any more than we would be a good night out, a movie, sex, or a few hits of ecstasy? Because we're irrational. Which, when you think about it, is a pretty absurd notion. We, being mechanical beings, programmed to perceive the world around us, yet evolutionarily built with blatent flaws. We strive for perfection. We may not realize it on the subatomic level upon which we operate, or understand it in the grand scheme of things, but we do. On average, the choices and decisions of any given person are a predictable occurance, and the death of one person is accounted for when things fall into place.This is not the same as fate or destiny, it's just that like any system, there is a middle of the bell curve which occurs despite the desires and actions of any one individual. Where am I going with this? Who knows. But however you die, it's probably not going to be remembered by most of humanity now, or ever to live from this day out. So live for yourself. or devote yourself to others. or waste away in a heroin induced fog. The universe will hardly blink at your passing. Do something that makes you feel good. If that's curing cancer, f yeah dude. if that's killing yourself, sorry things didnt work out your way. If that's murdering people... well we might hate you but whatever I get you. As un-illuminating as this may be when you think about it, please, just do what you want. As a great professor once told me, "life's too short to work for assholes". Do what you want. at all times. To all people. And once you start, don't give up, or people may get pissed.

RIP Isis

Isis, you will be missed. I hope you're eating crickets up in huvven right now.

Oatmeal of the Gods

This stuff is so amazing I want to eat it all the time. .5 Cup dried oats 1 Cup water cubed pinapple cinnamon 2 packets splenda crushed walnuts 3 egg whites 1 egg 1) Make oatmeal according to recipe 2) Once it's done, put the egg whites and egg into a heated pan 3) Add oatmeal to the eggs and stir till the egg is cooked. 4) Remove egg and oatmeal mixture from pan and put it into a bowl. Add cinnamon, splenda, pinapple and walnuts (pretty much to taste). 5) ENJOY!

WARRIOR DASH 2012!

This morning I pushed through double quadricep strains and went up to the high country to compete in Warrior Dash. Got up there, and began pounding energy drinks. Finally after two bouts of pee breaks, we made our way to the starting line. A few switch backs and then about a quarter mile uphill and we got to the first obstacle.

1) Climb over 3 ft walls, under 2ft barbed wire, repeat x4

Whoo! The running is starting to catch up to me, but i push on through to obstacle... 2) balanced walk over a series of up down up down planks about 10 feet off the ground.

Crushed it, and look! I can see the next obstacle... wait, whats this quarter mile switchback I have to do? and why are my aforementioned quads stinging with every step? No time to bitch. Around the curve and up the next obstacle:

3) Climb up wooden rafters, then over the top, one rung down, you drop to the bottom.

more running.... 4) Run through tires

MORE RUNNING!

5) Jump over some fire.

Now comes the hellish ascent to the courses highest point. The grade gets gradually steeper and steeper and longer and longer, and to add insult to injury, there is another 6) up and over wooden steeple and 7) low pipes to crawl through. Made it to the top huffing and puffing, descend down a steep slope with ropes, and then get to obstacle...

9) Climb a rope over a wall, then drop down from the top of the other side to the ground.

Run some more (FINALLY DOWNHILL)

10) Cargo nets

run
11) swim through mud under barbed wire

Finish. Drink Beer. Wash. Rawr.

Reset SQL Server 2008 SSMS Shortcuts

Recently I've been playing with gVim trying to get into the lightning fast editing that is said to come with using vi as an editor. Problem is, unless I'm mistaken (I'd be happy to be proven wrong here) it's difficult or impossible to add the common tasks I use with SSMS. F5 to execute, remove results pane, new/next window etc.

An addon I was trying out called ViEmu added a lot of great vi functionality to SSMS. It's something that I think users adept at using vi would love. Maybe even an SSMS user could learn to love. But I'm new, and like anyone starting out using vi, it's frustrating, so in lieu of the hundreds of projects looming which need to get done, I guess learning vi will have to wait.

What does this have to do with my posting? This addon (as do many other SSMS addons) remaps many commonly used shortcut. Ctrl-r to hide results pane, alt-w to access window switching, even ctrl-n for new query window. Begin google search for resetting keyboard shortcuts in SSMS.

Turns out for whatever reason, SSMS really doesn't like you being able to easily change your shortcut settings, and a surprising dearth of information was available on the interwebs on this topic. I got it to work, so let me distill what I can for you.

1. SSMS doesn't store keyboard shortcut information in the registry but rather in local files so uninstallation won't necessarily help.
2. the files are user specific so they are stored in AppData as opposed to somewhere in the install directory.
3. SSMS stores keyboard shortcut data in .vsk files (two of which seem to be responsible for the settings concerning SSMS

You have to go to your app data directory. Depending on your version and how your machine(s) is/are setup, your path may look something like this:

C:\Documents and Settings\ShayShay\Application Data\Microsoft\Microsoft SQL Server\100\Tools\Shell

in there, you're looking for two .vsk files - User.vsk and/or Current.vsk. I found them both in the directory mentioned above, but it sounds as though they may be in slightly different paths in the SSMS app data dir.

Point is, close SSMM, delete those two files (or as i did, cut and paste them to my desktop to be safe) then start up SSMS. Try something simple like select 1 + f5 = ctrl-r (toggle results pane) or really whichever your previously existing shortcut was. If it's still borked, time to go hunting through your app data dirs for other offending .vsk

NOTE: I'm not sure what the result of deleting .vsk files at will are. So far, SSMS looks like it auto-remakes the necessary files wiht default settings (what I wanted) but always be careful snipping out random files. I'd really recommend cutting and pasting them to desktop or something so that if things go horribly wrong, you dont end up in a worse situation than you started in.

Despite the fact that reality is really just a construct of the mind – filtered sensory input through a veil of individual experience, at least on a personal scale – most sane people have a good grip on what’s real to them. It’s really cool to think about what reality means to each of us. The same painting, song, phrase can have a profoundly different impact from person to person. When you think about the fact that we can play out what-if scenarios, imagine being in outer space, fantasize about island vacations or what might happen if we run this red light, reality is really just a single path, a single slit through which we choose to observe our reality flow through. In reality, the membrane separating what could be, what is, and what is not is razor thin. It may not, and in all likelihood, doesn’t exist, at least not in the sense that a traditional boundary might exist, but whatever interplay of neurons allows for the distinction, let us refer to it as a membrane. Somewhere however, we draw the line between fact and fiction and navigate the universe in a way which is coherent and stable. What happens when that membrane fails? When the stories created by sensory inputs are given equal credence to the next? When the conscious mind is unable to distinguish between the “right” and “wrong” paths? Right, in this sense means the version of reality which most closely lays on top of the functionality of the objective world. Certainly, there is no true “right” path, but as goes one of my favorite quotes, “it’s a little wrong to say a Tomato is a vegetable. It’s very wrong to say it's a suspension bridge”.

Somehow out of the massive amount of information which flows through our senses in a given period of time, we have to come up with a coherent view of reality. Additionally, we string individual moments together to tell an ongoing story, one which is guided by the preceding moments as well as the current. Take for example the idea of the butterfly effect. Assuming the collapse of the membrane between fact and fiction is instantaneous, the individual would instantly have to choose between what seem to be a very large set of congruent versions of reality. Once chosen, from moment to moment new realities will have to be chosen. In my entirely subjective opinion, if a coherent thread cannot be found, consciousness ceases to occur. Sensory inputs “short out” or fizzle to nothing as does the majority of the input which we don’t actively process. However within the noise, if the mind can catch on to a theme connecting realities, that story will begin to play out, however convoluted it’s path until the membrane can be reestablished and align thought with the past of most congruence.

If you’ve ever listened to someone paranoid about, say Big Brother spying on them, or perhaps listened to yourself as you hear the floorboards creak, the stories, objectively are pretty ridiculous. A car has been parked outside for a week. At the same time, your neighbor hasn’t been seen at home in roughly the same time. And who was on the other end of that hang-up call this morning? The stories contain a thread of continuity at least, and sometimes while floating through the realm of possible interpretations of reality, a thread of continuity is the only reference point we have to an underlying reality.

Like trying to follow a straight line on the ground in a strobe light, for the most part it’s doable. The faster the strobe or the longer the periods of illumination, the easier it is to trace the line of reality. Even in slower strobes, you can correct your course quickly enough so that the path is always within grasp. The longer the darkness however, the easier it is to stray away from the line without even knowing it. After a time your brain thinks you’re moving straight when in fact you’re far from the center. What happens if the light never turns back on? How do you know whether you’re actually on the line or whether your brain just wants to believe that it is?

Meaning of Lif